Boring presentations

Do you want the audience to experience your presentation as truly boring?

If you really want to bore an audience, follow these ten tips below.

I promise you, your audience will be sure to fall asleep!

1. Lack of interest in the audience: Don’t waste valuable time learning about your audience or adapting your presentation to the specific group. Also, do not try to assess your audience’s level of knowledge. It's best to repeat information that your audience already knows as often as possible. On the other hand, it is also good to hopelessly overburden the audience with new information. Both will result in immense boredom. Never consider what your audience might find interesting - you are the expert here. The audience will just have to adjust to your presentation.
2. Phrases at the beginning and end of the presentation: Begin every presentation with the following words: "I am glad to be allowed to give this presentation today!" Or even better: "I was asked to make this presentation about XYZ." Next, read the table of contents from the agenda slide. This guarantees a boring start to your presentation. The conclusion is essential too. Always end with: "Thank you for your attention. I am happy to answer any questions." The more flowery phrases you use in these sentences, the better!
3. Poor structure: Structureless presentations increase creative chaos! Don’t think about what you want to achieve with your presentation. Also, try to discuss as many topics as possible. Inserting a lot of unordered information in your presentations will make your audience see how much you think about. Trust your audience to filter out the important points from your presentation - disorientation always causes boredom.
4. Long story short: Talk as much and as quickly as possible about your topic. This proves that you have a lot of detailed knowledge and can set up a full-length program. But that's all you can do, because your audience will soon be unable to follow you.

5. No audience contact: Do not look or talk to your audience, that would only cause irritation. Hold a monologue instead. Your slides are well designed. That's why you should look frequently at the slides, reading as much as possible from them. The more you turn to the slides, the sooner your audience can play with their mobile phone without being disturbed.
6. Take it seriously: Take yourself and the presentation situation extremely seriously. Avoid every trace of relaxation. Do not show any pleasure in the topic or presentation. This is the only way to be professional. What’s more, this also allows your audience and listeners to get bored again.
7. Theory instead of examples: If possible, only use dry theory. Finally, you want to convince your audience that you have expertise. Stories and anecdotes only distract from your topic!
8. Only use PowerPoint: Don’t try any experiments. Do not think about whether any other presentation media might make more sense for your presentation. Your audience is used to PowerPoint, and knows what to expect.
9. Boring role models: Find the most boring role models possible. You will find a multitude of speakers who give boring PowerPoint presentations. Imitate their slide and presentation style as faithfully as possible.

Finally, the good news: If you bore your audience with a presentation, you are in good company. According to a Wall Street Journal study, 84% of all presentations are boring.

Tips on how to inspire your audience can be found here.

Anne-Christiane Schneider wishes you an exciting presentation.

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